Extinguish Shame with Empathy
"Shame requires 3 things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence & judgment; in contrast, when we douse shame with empathy it can't survive. The 2 most powerful words when we're in struggle ... 'me too'. " - Brené Brown
Children who are sexually abused are usually abused alone and in secret. They learn early to keep their perpetrator's secret because they unknowingly take on the perpetrator's shame as their own. Their thinking is governed by how others will perceive them (dirty, promiscuous, etc.). They fear repercussions from the perpetrator of harm to themselves or those they love. Worse yet, children might find that nobody believes them or believe that they themselves caused themselves to be violated.
So begins the silence that lasts well into adulthood. But while survivors might not speak about what happened to them with other people, it certainly isn't silent within survivors. Survivors wrestle with loud demons in their hearts and minds that tell them stories of being useless, unworthy, unlovable...just not good enough...
Survivors of childhood sexual abuse turn the judgment on themselves...."I'm not good enough..."
Extinguish Shame with Empathy
For my fellow survivors, I encourage you to consider this: If you had a friend speak of being unlovable, unworthy, or not good enough, what would you say to them?
When we see ourselves from the outside, we are much more objective, more positive, more empathetic. Because, we are worth it. We are deserving of happiness.
We are definitely good enough!
If you’d like to extinguish any shame you’re feeling, remove any limiting beliefs that are holding you back, and finally feel good enough about yourself, click the link below and let’s talk!
