From Sexual Healing to True Connection
When Marvin Gaye’s "Sexual Healing" hit the airwaves in 1981, it struck a chord with me, but not in a way that felt good.
The song's lyrics, with their relentless focus on one person’s needs and desires, mirrored the painful reality I lived for years.
I was someone else’s instrument, a tool for satisfying their intimate needs, and this song seemed to echo that experience.
At a time when my self-esteem was already low,
"Sexual Healing" felt like a reminder that sex was something I was supposed to want, something I was supposed to provide, but always for someone else.
A Turning Point in My Life
For most of my life, that’s how I viewed sex—something I needed to want because that’s what society told me.
Even my in-laws told me!
And that’s how I measured my worth.
But deep down, it never felt right.
It wasn’t until I was 49 that something changed.
When I met Jim, I finally healed enough to be open to love, a wonderful love that showed me what intimacy could truly be.
I remember him saying to me
“Whenever we laugh, we’re making love.”
And that was a totally new concept for me I had never heard, or never even considered.
The Difference Between Obligation and Connection
There’s a difference between obligation and connection.
And with love came connection, and with connection, real sexual healing began.
It wasn’t about fulfilling someone else’s needs anymore, and it certainly wasn’t about focusing on my own needs in a vacuum.
It was about us—being together, sharing, and making love in a way that honored both of us.
Again, whether your body parts are touching or your heart and your humor are touching, it’s making love….
Resonating with Barry White
This experience made me feel more connected to Barry White’s music.
Barry White had that voice that was just so low and comforting, but even back then, I probably may have seen his as being sexual obligation.
But after Jim, I started to recognize that unlike the self-centered message of "Sexual Healing,"
Barry White sings about making love, about being together, about connection.
His songs resonate with me because they capture the essence of what I’ve learned:
that true intimacy isn’t about fulfilling a need;
it’s about building a connection that brings two people closer together.
For You: Embracing True Intimacy and Healing
If you’ve struggled with societal expectations or personal challenges around intimacy and self-worth, remember that you don’t have to settle for a narrative that doesn’t serve you.
True healing and intimacy are about finding connections that honor and respect both partners.
It’s not about fulfilling external expectations but about creating a meaningful bond that brings you joy and fulfillment.
Embrace the journey of making love, not just having sex, and cherish every moment of genuine connection.
Let's Transform Your Journey Together
If my journey resonates with you and you’re seeking to explore or heal your own experiences with intimacy and sexual connection, I invite you to reach out.
Together,
we can work towards finding the deep, meaningful connections you deserve and transforming your experiences into a place of healing and love.
