Remember to Forget / Forget to Remember
We often think of memory as something that just happens to us—some memories stick, others fade.
🤔 But what if we had more control over this process than we realize?
🌟 There’s power in how we manage our memories, whether we’re consciously deciding to let go or allowing time to do the work for us.
This power is something we don’t often think about, but it’s worth exploring.
You Can Remember to Forget
Let’s start with the idea of actively managing our memories.
Sometimes, letting go of a memory isn't about forgetting it completely but rather about choosing how much importance to give it in our daily lives.
When we say “You can remember to forget,” we're talking about the conscious effort to move past certain memories.
This doesn’t mean erasing them from our minds entirely.
Instead, it’s about deciding that those memories shouldn’t control our present.
It’s like keeping the memory in a box and choosing not to open it.
The act of remembering to forget is a deliberate choice.
It’s about acknowledging the memory’s existence but consciously deciding it doesn’t deserve to influence your current state of mind.
By doing this, you set the groundwork for eventually allowing the memory to diminish naturally, as your mind gradually shifts focus to more positive or relevant aspects of your life.
And sometimes, you might even realize that you’ve forgotten that you forgot something
—a sign that the memory has truly lost its hold.
Empowerment Through Remembering to Forget
When you actively choose to remember to forget, you take control of your emotional well-being.
By deciding to focus less on certain memories or experiences, you empower yourself to shape your present and future.
This process allows you to set boundaries on how much impact past events have on your current life.
It means you’re not letting those memories define you or dictate your mood and actions.
This empowerment comes from the conscious choice to redirect your attention and energy towards more positive or constructive aspects of your life.
You Can Forget to Remember
On the flip side, “You can forget to remember” touches on the natural process of memories fading over time, especially when we don’t actively give them importance.
Here, we’re not just passively waiting for memories to fade; we can guide this process by choosing to deprioritize certain memories.
For example, if I choose not to put the pain of my childhood trauma in a position of importance, my brain will naturally begin to let it fizzle away.
It’s about trusting that as we focus on the present and future, our minds will gradually allow the past to lose its hold.
In this way,
forgetting to remember is less about direct control and more about allowing time and mental focus to do their work.
It’s the natural outcome of not giving certain memories the space to grow or stay relevant in our current lives.
Sometimes, you might even catch yourself surprised that you forgot something once so important
—a testament to the mind’s incredible ability to adapt.
Empowerment Through Forgetting to Remember
Forgetting to remember can also be empowering in a different way.
When memories naturally fade, it shows that your mind is capable of prioritizing and adapting over time.
This form of empowerment lies in the resilience of the human mind to move forward and embrace new experiences.
It highlights the strength in letting go without forcing it, trusting that your mind will naturally shift focus as you grow and change.
This process allows you to live more fully in the present and open yourself up to new possibilities without being weighed down by the past.
In a Nutshell . . .
Both “remembering to forget” and “forgetting to remember” help us manage our past and stay focused on the present.
By choosing what to let go of from our past and deciding not to dwell on current negative experiences, we take control of how our memories shape our lives.
These approaches help us maintain a balanced perspective and shape our future with greater clarity.
If you’d like help teaching your mind how and when to hold onto and let go of painful memories and present experiences, click the link below to set up a time to talk!
