The Reason for Getting Past Survivor
I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse for 8 years, starting with the first time I was raped at 7.
I was also a victim of extreme bullying by kids and teachers for 5 years.
I lived most of my life feeling shame and guilt and unworthiness, and was very fearful.
At the same time I was trying to heal from all that happened to me as a child, life continued on with me making really questionable choices and doing things that were hurtful and quite harmful to myself.
Hi, I’m Helen Brenner, a certified NLP in Hypnosis Trauma Healing Coach and a former Mental Health Counselor and founder of Getting Past Survivor where I’m a voice for the voiceless, standing with and for others who have experienced the unmentionable.
Throughout most of my life, I spent too much time in fear, confusion, anger, self-harm and self-neglect as I lived in what I call my “survivor era.”
As a trauma survivor trying to live my life, I found myself defaulting to the survivor default actions and reactions of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn in just about every area of my life.
Because they were reactive actions, they weren’t really the best thing for me, at least didn’t feel that way.
I felt even crappier about myself because I was doing it to myself.
I could understand the actions and reactions I had when someone was hurting me, but what I had a hard time accepting was…
“Oh my god, I'm doing this to myself.”
“Why can’t I treat myself better?”
“What is wrong with me?!”
I blamed myself, especially in the early days of my “survivor era.”
I believed that I was in control of me (like everyone told me I should be) and I shunned myself for everything wrong about me.
Then, 15 years ago when I was in school earning my psychology degree it dawned on me that there's a place in our healing where we are no longer making choices by survivor default.
I believed this was a place where we finally break free and make choices for ourselves based on authenticity and what we want to do in life.
I began my quest to find that place, all the while writing about my journey of what I call Getting Past Survivor.
For a bit of time, I questioned whether I could name it, that place on the other side of survivor and then realized that I don't want to do that.
Getting Past Survivor isn’t a thing to name, it’s a state of internal being that is different for everyone.
And it’s a continuous journey, one that may not have an end.
Life goes on, we live and grow.
While I have landed on the other side of Getting Past Survivor in many areas of my life, you’ll soon learn that there are areas where I’m still on the path.
Life gives, life takes, and we find ourselves over and over having to survive many things.
This is a blog and a podcast about my journey.
You’ll hear my stories.
And you’ll hear stories of others like me who are making their own journeys of Getting Past Survivor.
This is a place where you’ll hear from me and other people who have found themselves are no longer making choices by survivor default, but rather by their own personal design.
And you’ll hear where struggles still exist and new ones pop up.
Life is a journey, not a destination.
I hope you’ll join me on my journey and if you’re interested, I’d enjoy having you on the show to share about your journey of Getting Past Survivor!
Contact me at hello@helenbrennercoaching.com.
