She Struggles to Break Free
Can you hear yourself in these words?
She struggles as if in a cocoon or shell. Stuck. Waiting. Yearning to fly but doesn't know how to break free from her bonds.
She struggles with knowing she’s intelligent but can’t allow her true intelligence to shine through.
She struggles to hold out for the best. She settles because she can’t deserve more.
She fears rejection because she’s been rejected too often. She fears judgment because she’s been judged too harshly.
She claws through life trying to reach her independence, not fully taking control.
She hopes for respect from the wrong people and can’t allow herself to surround herself with only loving supportive friends and family.
She knows she should love herself but can’t because she’s let herself down too many times.
She fights for the underdog but not for herself with the same passion.
She has a high tolerance for failure and a low expectation for success.
She feels undeserving, but keeps trying because deep down she knows she’s valuable. She struggles to show herself and the world her true worth.
She needs to understand what holds her back from living her worth.
She needs to learn the tools to run her own life.
She needs to develop resistance to negative people and lower her tolerance to failure.
She needs to raise expectations for success and abundance.
She invests in herself because deep, deep, deep down she knows, or has heard, or simply wants to believe she’s deserving of more!
She was me! I broke free!
I wrote all but the last few lines of that years ago when I was really suffering emotionally, mentally, financially, and in my relationships.
I had lost my job, my divorce was taking years and costing me $40,000+, I was still suffering from the effects of my childhood traumas, and the love of my life who I had only just developed a relationship with just 5 short years earlier died unexpectedly.
To say that that time in my life was the rockiest of my rock bottoms would be an understatement! I had spent decades trying to recover from childhood sexual abuse, bullying, rape, shitty relationships, loads of self-doubt, etc, etc, etc. But, nothing prepared me for the pain I experienced when Jim died.
Everything was raw.
AND because I was in such a bad state, I was the most desperate and the most determined I had ever been in my life to find a way to feel better! To finally stop all of the negative inner messages, and the feeling of holding myself back. The lowest point in my life was a catapult to getting me to the best point of my life. Yes, I still miss Jim greatly, but I’m living fully and happily, and I know that’s how he’d want me to be.
When I look at those words, I feel decades from where I was, but the fact is, the change didn’t take decades. The suffering did. The change was actually pretty dang quick because it was through a change model that connected DIRECTLY with my unconscious mind where ALL of the negative automatic patterns are stored.
Today I live a life of inner freedom. I’m healed and living and responding to life the way I choose to.
If you found yourself in these words, I invite you to reach out to me at the link below and let’s talk about how we can get you to a life of inner freedom!
